We are approaching the feast of the Holy Family. I both love and hate that feast. I love the idea of that feast. I wanted to forever be an example of the virtues of the Holy Family. I wanted to be in my own version of the Holy Family, in imitation of, if you will. But, for me that didn't happen.
The virtues of the Holy Family, the self sacrifice, the life giving love, are a wonderful ideal. I see couples, families that look to me as though they are living those ideals. I looked like that during at least part of my former life. I always held to the "fake it til you make it," plan. I meditated on the Holy Family, I prayed to the Holy Family. I prayed for my partner. I prayed for myself.
But, I got sick faking it. I was depressed. I have meditated on the reasons, the causes, how it might have been prevented, how it all unfolded, how I got there in the first place. I conclude that all of that thinking about the past just brings back the hurt, the aloneness I felt then. So, the healthier thing to do, the more whole thing to do is focus on the present moment, today. What can I do today to live Christ's love? How can I live out the Gospel values?
In the readings this weekend for the feast day of the Holy Family, I will see myself in the prophetess Anna, in the readings about being a good son or daughter, and in delight that there was a Holy Family. But, when the lector reads "Wives be subordinate to your husbands...." I will remember that the reading doesn't say, husbands, make your wives submit to you, or if you don't live in that kind of family, that kind of life, you are cursed or doomed. I believe that St. Paul was encouraging us to do our best, to try. He was talking about the best possible life, but I choose to hear encouragement rather than condemnation.
The virtues of the Holy Family, the self sacrifice, the life giving love, are a wonderful ideal. I see couples, families that look to me as though they are living those ideals. I looked like that during at least part of my former life. I always held to the "fake it til you make it," plan. I meditated on the Holy Family, I prayed to the Holy Family. I prayed for my partner. I prayed for myself.
But, I got sick faking it. I was depressed. I have meditated on the reasons, the causes, how it might have been prevented, how it all unfolded, how I got there in the first place. I conclude that all of that thinking about the past just brings back the hurt, the aloneness I felt then. So, the healthier thing to do, the more whole thing to do is focus on the present moment, today. What can I do today to live Christ's love? How can I live out the Gospel values?
In the readings this weekend for the feast day of the Holy Family, I will see myself in the prophetess Anna, in the readings about being a good son or daughter, and in delight that there was a Holy Family. But, when the lector reads "Wives be subordinate to your husbands...." I will remember that the reading doesn't say, husbands, make your wives submit to you, or if you don't live in that kind of family, that kind of life, you are cursed or doomed. I believe that St. Paul was encouraging us to do our best, to try. He was talking about the best possible life, but I choose to hear encouragement rather than condemnation.