Ten years ago today I started this blog. It was an experiment, a life raft, a little piece of hope. I had big ideals and big dreams, but I thought my life would never change, would always be about the same. And was I wrong, or what?
I don't think that the blog itself changed me. Some of the people I met along the way added little pieces to my life. That Dandelionend lady probably had the most profound influence in that she sent me a couple of books at a crucial time in my life. They were books about living a Christian life. They came to me as I faced a cancer diagnosis. I was ready to throw in the towel and give up, and these books encouraged me that God still had a plan for me. And for now the cancer is gone.
Spiritual direction had a strong impact as well. I have been so gifted to be able to talk to people who seek God for a living. From them I learned about God's love. I heard the rumor that God's love is infinite and all the time. I think I believed in God's love as a concept, but throughout my lived experience, I feared God. I didn't want to make Him mad. My experience in love relationships, with my mom, with my spouse was that love was love until they got upset, angry, mad, disturbed about something, then I was punished in some way. I lived the life of an enabler who tried not to upset or anger the other person in my life. My spiritual directors have taught me to be honest with God and not to fear Him. And I say this with wonder and awe and trying to believe--God loves me all the time.
I look forward to some joys in the year ahead. I already can anticipate some sorrows. But, I am teaching myself day by day to live in the moment, to live in the present, to be present in my life. And Hope Echoes will continue with me on the journey. Happy Birthday, Hope Echoes, you are TEN.
I don't think that the blog itself changed me. Some of the people I met along the way added little pieces to my life. That Dandelionend lady probably had the most profound influence in that she sent me a couple of books at a crucial time in my life. They were books about living a Christian life. They came to me as I faced a cancer diagnosis. I was ready to throw in the towel and give up, and these books encouraged me that God still had a plan for me. And for now the cancer is gone.
Spiritual direction had a strong impact as well. I have been so gifted to be able to talk to people who seek God for a living. From them I learned about God's love. I heard the rumor that God's love is infinite and all the time. I think I believed in God's love as a concept, but throughout my lived experience, I feared God. I didn't want to make Him mad. My experience in love relationships, with my mom, with my spouse was that love was love until they got upset, angry, mad, disturbed about something, then I was punished in some way. I lived the life of an enabler who tried not to upset or anger the other person in my life. My spiritual directors have taught me to be honest with God and not to fear Him. And I say this with wonder and awe and trying to believe--God loves me all the time.
I look forward to some joys in the year ahead. I already can anticipate some sorrows. But, I am teaching myself day by day to live in the moment, to live in the present, to be present in my life. And Hope Echoes will continue with me on the journey. Happy Birthday, Hope Echoes, you are TEN.