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Packing

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I am not big on packing.  I put it off and then shove too much stuff in the suitcase.  I am never sure what i will need. And I want too much.  I really like my own pillow.  Have you tried fitting one into the suitcase? (I have an itty bitty one that I take.)

It is easier to pack for familiar trips than new adventures.  I know now what I should have taken to Oklahoma and Kansas overLabor Day weekend.  But I won't be going back there for a while.  I know what to pack when I go to the Lake for the conference twice a year.  But, starting on a new adventure in a completely new setting it is hard to say what I will need, what I wish I had with me.

I am getting older though and I am getting a little smarter.  Pack light, less than I think I will need, because I will have to lift it and haul it and repack it to come home. So, I am not big on packing.  But, i had better get started because I have an adventure awaiting me.

Thanks Be To Thee

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O God, Thanks be to Thee who traveled with me, who travels with me still.  Thanks for the adventures and the safe travels home.  Thanks for the good people I met and the ones who left the nice part of them in bed that day.   Thanks for the whales watched and the glaciers calved and the good food and sweet sights. Thanks, lord for the beautiful earth You made. Amen

Home Again

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I am home. I took a little cruise to Alaska. I saw whales, glaciers, native Americans, Canada, and ocean. Despite 11 foot swells, I did not get seasick the first day out at sea. I attended Mass on the ocean almost every day.

It was a great trip for me. It helped me to clear out my head of junk and feelings of unworthiness. Somewhere on this voyage I was able to see and accept, really accept, God’s endless, gracious love for me. I found myself, the person I was made to be. Spending time staring at the sea helped me with that. It was so beautiful.

If I were 23 again, I would go live in Alaska, at least for the summer. There is something about the wilderness that draws me there. I might have to visit Alaska again someday. I don’t feel finished with that place. It is like a magnet.

Alaska and Other Miracles

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I recently returned from an Alaskan cruise.  It was fantastic.  I loved it.  It is a memory for a lifetime.  I really needed that cruise.  And I would say that God provided that, just when I needed it.  I have become aware that I need to be more concerned about my ability, willingness, volunteering to take on things to help other people, neglecting my own health and mental and emotional needs.  By doing the over helping, I open up my soul to the devil who plays upon my needy self and makes me feel sad and desperate and far from God's grace and mercy.  I hear all the bad things that have been said to me and about me and I remember none of the good things.

So, this cruise came up and I decided to go, but I felt really embarrassed about it.  I went to the Holy Land in January, after all.  Am I just a chick after endless leisure and travel to exotic places?  I asked myself, what would Mother Theresa do?  And the answer is not that.  But, I don't have the same call as she had.  I have a different call.

One of the unavoidable calls I have is to care for my aging mother.  At 97, she lives in assisted living, but that doesn't mean that there are not a lot of things that need to be done for her.  And I don't live close, really.  I live about an hour away, but I live closest.  And whenever I pray about wanting to care for the poor or have a call to mission in my life, it comes back to Mom.  I would rather care for the poor and unfortunate, but I am the one who needs to take care of my mom.  Caring for her is a burden, we have a problematic relationship even today.  But, I am the one with greater control, so I am learning to exert it and be calm and patient with her.

I prospered from a week on the ocean, seeing whales, and breathing salt air, and Alaska, glaciers calving, ice chunks in the water, a quilt shop in Skagway, Alaska that I loved and other pleasures and joys.  It was all amazing.  I think I could get on a ship and sail around the world if I had the money and the time.  There is something about the floating on the ocean and looking out to sea that is such a miracle of creation, such a grace of God.  And when I saw a rainbow the first night as we headed out for Alaska from Seattle, I knew that God was smiling and it was a miracle.

Getting My Act Together

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I went down a 35 year rabbit hole in which I tried to make someone else happy or contented or not angry most of the time.  During those 35 years I tried to manipulate and control the situation so that he would be happy and would love me, I thought. Climbing out of the rabbit hole I have come to understand that happiness lies within me and love that is worth anything at all is not conditional.  I can be loved just for me.  So far and probably never has anyone lined up for that job, but it doesn't matter.  I am learning to love myself, even though I am not perfect, that I make lots of mistakes and sometimes feel crabby and sometimes unloveable. Christ loves me the way that I am, fat or thin, old or young, smart or stupid, He made me that way, so, of course, He loves me the way I am.

After such a long free fall of life, I have a lot of learning to do to figure out who I am and what my call is.  At first I just hurt.  I asked myself a lot of useless questions, like, how could someone who loved me treat me that way?  And the correct answer is--I don't know and I won't ever really know.  And it doesn't matter, it is over and I jumped free.  I washed up on shore.  I have to pick up the wreck that I am and move on.  And for a while I was in survival mode.  I had a lot of proving to do to myself that I could handle things and that I wasn't a bad person. I wondered who I was. A lot of  the time I hurt.

As I begin to walk away from the pain and the hurt and the survival mode of my past life, I have more and more found ways to nurture myself, to thrive.  I went to Jerusalem and saw the Holy land.  I had a grand baby and survived the disappointment of him not being a nursed baby.  And he is the cutest baby ever. I took a cruise to Alaska and saw whales and native dancing. I have handled a million large and small problems of life and home ownership, and it hasn't been easy, but it hasn't been bad either.  I don't have an extraordinary call, at least not yet.  I feel that the call in my life is to live the ordinary and live with love.

But, lately, I have stepped out of survival mode.  I am working to become the person I want to be, the person I am inside.  That person is a little thinner and moves a little better.  That person is mindful and happy and interested in others.  That person has boundaries and defenses against the cruelty or curiosity of other people.  And that one is really big.  I am not good at setting or maintaining boundaries.  Or at least I didn't used to be. I am growing and changing. I am starting to get my act together.  Prayer has changed things, trust in God has changed things, and hope in Christ has bought me through to this day.

(And someday there will be pictures of Alaska.)

Lord of All

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Lord of All Creation,
You created such a varied and congruous world. The hawks that fly far above, the whales that sing far below, all things are within Your imaginings.  Thank You for all things. Hold my hand and walk with me through the trials and missteps, through my doubt and forgetting, help me.  I put my trust in You. Amen

Trouble, My Friend, Big, Big Trouble

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I just came back from PT for my knee and my mom's doctor's nurse called with results from her labs.  Mom has diabetes again and may have a UTI which may partially explain her rapid decline lately and may change our plans to move her to memory care instead of another assisted living.  But, the diabetes, I don't know how I will manage that one. And my lawn service went out of business last week and the grass just keeps on growing. And the chairs I ordered online last week and guaranteed one day shipping have not shipped. And I think I signed up for the wrong Medicare policy thing. And I am sure there are other things, but that is all I can handle at the moment. (Do I sound a little panicky?)

Sometimes life has a way of plunging me into panic.  So many problems, such a tangle of solutions.  It is like a tangled piece of yarn.  The only way to straighten it out is take one rat's nest of a tangle at a time.  So, I called my old lawn service and they are happy to take me on again.  One problem solved.  I am awaiting calls about Mom from the doctor and the facility where she currently lives.  I called about the chairs and they are just delayed a bit.  I called Medicare and then the supplement company I no longer want and though that problem hasn't been tackled completely, it is resolving.  But around the corner there still could be big, big trouble.  But, with so many problems on their way to being handled, how can I dread the future?

I came away from a life where each problem was treated like a full on emergency.  Often there was blame or shame assigned to the problem as well.  Each mistake was a disaster and life was often paralyzing in the vast array of difficulties that can present themselves within an ordinary day. Over time I adopted that as my mode of living.  In the past I dreaded the problems of life.

Now I am trying to do things differently.  As the tears came to my eyes when the nurse was telling me about Mom's problems, I began to pray.  I continued to pray even though as I finished the conversation it seemed to me that there was no solution. How was prayer even going to help?  Despite all the evidence in my life through repeated experiences of God's love and protection, I am still sometimes uncertain in the moment that prayer will help me. I think it is all on me to fix things.  At least that is my panic mode thought.  But, as I prayed today, I began to remember that God didn't just throw me off a cliff and let me handle it.  He is here.  He has a way.  He provides help.  Because in this world there are troubles, but He has conquered the world, I will hold onto Him. Amen.

Complexities

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Oh, I remember fondly the days when selecting a Medicare Supplement was my biggest worry.  Oh, those were the days. Tongue firmly in cheek.  So, it is inevitable that life keeps on coming with new and more complex problems.  I think God is trying to tell me something.  Trust Me, trust Me...... And I am trying.  I am.  I know that all things will work together for the good, are working together for good, but I am the kind of person who feels squeezed by situations and decisions and things I would rather not do. Stretch and grow, stretch and grow.

It seems as though the theme going through my life these days is medical.  Mom's type 2 diabetes is back with a vengeance.  This is mainly because she is not capable of monitoring her own diet and she no longer does what we would call "exercise" at 97 years old.  Mom ended up in the ER on Saturday afternoon and I had to go pick her up. An aide panicked and called 911, even though this aide had spoken with me and Mom was not showing any signs of distress. Mom is starting medication tomorrow to control the blood sugar.  We have made plans to move her to a new place that will take better care of her and won't pull the panic button so quickly and make her ride in an ambulance unnecessarily.  But, getting her moved is a complexity.  She has stuff and it will require a mover to get her to a whole different town.  The thing I know I am supposed to learn from this is to share the responsibility, share the load.

And then there is my own health.  I really need a knee replacement, but instead I am doing physical therapy and it is helping.  I am able to move a little better. But, scheduling the appointments is a pain.  And I need cataract surgery.  I am legally blind in my left eye.  I have scheduled the surgery, but it interferes with my plan to babysit my grandchild.  Only for a couple of days, but I feel as though I am letting people down and that is hard for me.  I am a co-dependent caretaker by nature.  I need to trust that the PT will work and someday maybe I will be able to get the surgery.  I need to recognize that I am not superwoman and my bionic eye will just have to be fixed.  It is not my fault. And additionally I have to decide to be forever nearsighted or forever farsighted after the ataract surgery.  I have done a lot of back and forth about it.  Right now I am thinking farsighted.

And then there is my weight.  I have always had trouble with my weight.  When I was a kid I thought I was the fattest kid in the room. (Looking back the the photos, I really wasn't, just a little chubby from time to time.) This was an image that was re-enforced by my mother who referred to me as "the big fat sister." As a young adult I took up running and gave up sweets and lost weight and became dare I say, thin?  Then I married, stopped running, ate food again and put weight back on. Over the years I lost and gained and with every loss, I gained more. Most of the times I lost weight, I was trying to lose at the insistence of someone else. Maybe he would love me if I could be thin again. And I was angry.  On my own now, I am working at the weight loss thing again and I am winning.  It is easier to lose weight when I am doing it for me. I have found that the key to losing weight is acceptance of feeling hungry.  Not terribly hungry, not famished, but, a little on the edge of hungry. It is easier to live alone when I end up a touch crabby from time to time from the hunger.  I hope this time, I will win, I will become the person I feel like I am inside. Anybody who doesn't love me, fat or thin just misses out on knowing a great person. I don't have to be thin to be loved a accepted.

Putting it all down here has taken away the power all of this has had in my mind. It had become a giant weight on my back.  So, moving Mom for the third time in 4 years won't be a piece of cake, but I have siblings.  So, PT is having a positive effect.  Somehow the cataract surgery will happen.  I have lost 8 pounds in 2 weeks and although I won't even start to feel normal until I have lost at least 50 pounds, I have hope.  If only losing were as easy and fast as gaining can be.

Weight hanging over my head, that is how problems feel.  But, really, they are just complexities in life.  And wouldn't life be boring without complexities?  I would really love to find out, but for now, I will work with the lessons that are set before me.  God is with me.  Soon, I will look back on today and all of these problems will seem like a piece of cake, or maybe a bowl of kale.

Joy Filled

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God's ways are not our ways....

It is interesting to consider this thought.  It was the core of the study that my women's prayer group considered this week.  What are God's ways?

People who view God as angry and vengeful view God's ways as a series of rules and commands that are hard to follow and easy to break, therefore, making God a harsh judge, hard to please, unloving. Yet, we know that Jesus spoke of a loving Father who calls us to do good and take care of each other.  Our recent Pope has emphasized God's preference for the poor. God calls us to know Him better.  How?  Read His Word, attend His church, pray.

But, sometimes for me it is confusing to translate that into real life.  What does God say about my upcoming eye surgery?  What does God think about the trips I have been on?  Am I doing what God calls me to do, His Will for my life?  Maybe I worry more about this than some people do.  I am conventional and life has forced me into unconventional ways.  I worry that I am missing the boat, that I have gotten it wrong.  Perhaps I am imagining that angry and vengeful God?

Spiritual direction has helped me to understand that God really calls us to joy.  Real, genuine joy, not fake hedonistic pleasure.  Discerning the difference is the key.  But real joy always leads somewhere.  And that somewhere is closer to God. 

My recent trip to Alaska was one of those God's ways moments for me.  I was uncertain about going to Alaska.  But in my heart I longed to go and see the whales and the native Americans and the glaciers calving and the ocean.  I was completely unsure how this would draw me closer to God.  But, as I floated on the ocean, I came to experience the largeness of creation and the capacity for joy that God had given me.  I pondered things about me and about my life and I could accept and understand and appreciate how I came to be at this point in my life and where I could go in the future.

So, I came back and got busy on the parts of life that I can change for the better.  I am hearing God's call to love and to feel joy.  The past sufferings are over and life still has challenges and complexities, but God calls me to be joy filled.

Somewhere.... I went sailing...

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I wanted to go somewhere before I was not able to travel because my dream of chilling with the grandbaby came true.  I thought about just visiting a friend in Chicago or taking a bus tour of new Orleans.  But, neither of those options really seemed attractive.  When I prayed about it and dreamed about it, I knew that I longed to see the ocean, to see wild whales if at all possible.  I turned my attention to an Alaskan cruise.  I had never really been to Alaska before and I had never been on a cruise.

I booked passage on the Norwegian Pearl and went sailing.  But of course to get to the boat, I had to fly.  Seattle was the sailing point.  And I got to the boat via bus and the picture below was the waiting area to get the bus to the boat. 
I went with a purple luggage theme for this trip.  Rolling wheels were the best.
I got to the boat and immediately had a life boat drill and then the boat got underway in short order.
The Puget Sound looks like a great place to sailboat.
This sailboat reminded me of Sleepless In Seattle.  I am not sure why.  But there were a lot of boats in that movie.
I looked and looked for orcas.  They might have been there, but I didn't see them.
As we pulled away from Seattle, I was impressed by the skyline.  The last time I was in Seattle it was 1966 and the Space Needle on the left was the biggest building.
I wondered if any of the mountains in the distance was Mt. Rainier.
I wish the photo were clearer.  The Space Needle, the skyline, a sailboat, and a cruise ship.
Looking out the bow of the ship.
I was fascinated by the ship's wake.
Some of the little towns we passed as we headed out to the ocean.
As we got out into the ocean, the sky cleared a little.

Once we were on the ocean, the swells got bigger.
Those swells don't look that big, but they tossed the ship around quite a bit.
And blue sky over the ocean.

On deck seven I could walk already around the ship.
Big waves or swells on the ocean. I love the colors of the water and the sky and the foam.
It looks like modern art.
The large swells did not help some people enjoy the trip.
Despite all the rocking and rolling, I did not feel at all seasick.  That was not true of everyone on the ship.
And the sun went down on the first night of the trip to Alaska.


Sailing, Day 2, At Sea

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If you don't like water pictures, skip today.  On Monday we spent the whole day sailing toward Juneau, Alaska from Seattle, Washington.  Part of the day we were beyond the sight of land.
The swells were really rough on Sunday night and a good many people were seasick.  Not me.  I apparently have a cast iron stomach.We had Mass at 9am and I was up really early, so I had time to eat breakfast and still go to Mass.  Unfortunately our priest was almost unable to celebrate Mass due to seasickness. But, prayers got us through it.
The seas don't look that bad, but the swells really bounced the boat around.
I may have put this in the last post as sunset, but I think that it is actually sunrise.
I took a lot of photos of the sea.  I did a lot of praying as I watched the ocean and I wanted to remember it, a whole day at sea.
The foam from the ship and the blue of the sea is a special kind of beautiful.
And as we headed up past Canada, there were times that it cleared off and the waves calmed down.
Choppy foam, if I could paint anything besides walls, I would paint this.
The mystery of sea foam.  Bubbles and bubbles.
The wake left by the ship at the stern.
We left a trail in the water that gradually disappeared.
I would love to make a quilt or wall hanging of the sea.
Look at those colors.
The side of the ship.  I looked and looked for whales, but I didn't see any that day.
As the day progressed the skies clouded up and the grays appeared.
I wondered how fast we were going.  In miles per hour, not knots.
Canada was appearing on the left and open ocean on the right.
See, mountains!  After a day at sea, it was exciting.
But they weren't close.
Still blue sky, but more clouds.
I went to a program on shore tours in the auditorium.  It didn't change my mind about the ones I had paid for before the cruise.

In the early evening, it began to rain or drizzle lightly and a little rainbow appeared in the distance.
It was by the land, Canada.  I stayed inside at the buffet and snapped some pictures.
The rainbow is such a potent sign from God.


Then the rain and the sea swallowed up the rainbow.


And then it cleared a bit and the rainbow came back into sight.
We had a scheduled dinner with the pilgrimage group at one of the restaurants on board.  And the rainbow decided to show itself full force.
But it wasn't the most ideal place to take a picture.  But trust me, it was a beautiful rainbow.
After dinner, back in my cabin, Maria, my steward had left me a towel creature.

I wasn't totally sure what he was supposed to be, but he was cute and he made me smile.  Good night to the first day and night at sea.  God bless us, every one.

Day Three, Heading North Toward Juneau

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The second full day of the cruise, Tuesday, was mostly on the water.  We were heading toward the farthest north we would go, to Juneau, Alaska. Juneau is quite a ways from Seattle, as the boat sails.  But we entered the passage where there were islands and the sea was less rough.

By this day we were sailing off Alaska on US waters.  Most of the land adjoining the sea was national park.
Out on the deck, the air got rather chilly.  This was north.
The sun was different than it looks in the middle of the US.
The land was largely unpopulated.  It was just wild land.
From a distance I thought this was a boat, but as we got closer it was an ice flow.
The mountains didn't look so big, but the summit is above the tree line.
I wondered from which tidal glacier this ice flow was calved.
Mountains and sea, that was the view for the day.  I couldn't get enough.
Think of the power of the sea that just the night before had tossed around this huge ship and that had thrust these mountains toward the sky. God's power.  This day I pondered why I had come to Alaska and what I was learning from this trip.  Over and over again I heard. "God loves me."
Layers of mountains and a glacier at the top of the farthest one.  The ice on that mountain is never coming to the sea except as melting water.
I wonder the name of this mountain and glacier.  All the glaciers seem to have names.
I pulled it closer with the zoom lens.
The sort of amazing thing to me was that our ship sailed mostly alone, not another ship in sight.  Maybe it was because it was September, late in the season for Alaska.
More ice flows.
I think I would call this glacier "cow face."
Just our ship and ice, sea and mountains.
It took us a long time to pass this glacier.
It looks to me as though the cow is sniffing a daisy.
Too many pictures of this glacier, I know.  And I blame the angle on the ship rocking.
So much nothing, or everything.  But look at the shiny spot on the sea.
And finally the land got closer and closer.  We headed up the inland passage.  This is the dining area of the buffet which was almost always open.
The mountains were made of rock.  There were gorges and waterfalls where the streams brought water down from the tops of the mountains.
The tress changes and disappeared as they went up the mountain.
The Great Outdoors, the restaurant on the back of the ship.
The water became so smooth.  Like a lake.
The water turned green closer to the land.
There were little settlements on the way toward Juneau.
Someone says there was a whale over there.  I see ripples, not a whale.
Our Norwegian Pearl headed up the fjords to Juneau.
We got closer and closer to the trees. and finally sailed up the fjord to Juneau.

A Little Pause from the Sea Story

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God has been holding my hand, so lovingly and generously these past few weeks, I needed to take a break from Alaska. If it didn’t take so long to upload those photos, I would have it done by now. But, before I forget, I need to give thanks, with a grateful heart.

For me sometimes problems can loom large. I can make a mountain out of a molehill, so to speak. I have continued to have problems with the Medicare supplement enrollment. Every time I think I have it licked, it pops back up again. Once again, I think I have it figured out, but time will tell. My deadline is Halloween. I am tardy to the party.

My sister and I are moving my mom to a different assisted living. Moving a 97 year old has its challenges. And then there are all the pieces of the puzzle, the doctors, the medications, the newspaper subscriptions, the church membership, the banking, and other things that I am probably forgetting. Sister is doing most of the physical arrangements, but there are things as POA (power of attorney) that I have to do. I keep whacking them back and then remembering something else.

I am watching my grandson, which is pure joy. His family is much more together than his daddy’s was as a baby. (We moved across the world before he was a year old.)  Baby watching has its challenges and the greatest one is scheduling places that I need to be. Blessed that he is the sweetest baby ever.

I am working to lose weight and have finished up physical therapy for my knees. These have created stress in my life. But if I lose the weight and keep up with the exercise, my knees should work better and feel better.

I have been feeling stressed and anxious. But in the midst of it all, I have asked God to help me and no surprise. He has helped. The problems are still there, but we are managing them.

Sailing Into Juneau, Alaska

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Juneau, the capital of Alaska, can not be reached by roadway.  You fly or you sail to get to Juneau.  There is a 30 something roadway that goes through the city and concludes at mountain and sea at both ends.   We sailed into Juneau in the afternoon.
Gulls on the beach?  Part of the Juneau highway system.
There were boats and houses along the passage up to Juneau.
And waterfalls. This one is creating quite a gorge.  I wonder if it will be the Grand Canyon someday.
This is how it looked from a distance. 
Juneau is in a coastal rain forest and rains most of the time, so I was told.  But, not on the day I was there.  It was clear sailing all the way without a cloud in sight.

The bare top of the mountain is above the tree line, too cold up there for trees.
I imagine that most of the year there is snow up there on top of the mountain, but by September it had vanished, melted, running down the mountain.
The Pearl rounded a bend and there was a cruise ship docked.  We were reaching Juneau.
Juneau clutches the little piece of land between the mountains and the sea.
Mountains and the sea, that is Juneau.
I was trying to get a picture of the big bird which is a white speck in the picture.  A very big bird.
Still heading into Juneau.
There is a cable car thing going up the side of one of the mountains.
And there is little Juneau.  A sunny day.
They keep the frontage to the dock looking old school, I am guessing.
The Pearl was not the only ship docked that day.

The dock for the cruise ship was a distance from the main part of the city that encompasses the capital.
The dock was fancy, welcoming all of the cruisers and our money.
This parking garage was the public library.  If I had the time, I would have checked it out.  If I ever go to Juneau again, I will check it out.
But I had a shore tour booked.  I got off the ship and onto a bus that took us through town. I will continue the rest later.  I guess the animal rights people don't know about this place. 

Juneau, Thar She Blows

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I boarded a bus to go out to catch a boat to watch the whales.  We drove through Juneau which looked like an interesting town.
It was all crowded below the mountains with town.
There were an amazing number of cars.
Mountains all around us.
State capitol over there somewhere.
And glaciers in the background.  Some of the people from the cruise took the glacier tours. 
They sounded interesting, but I wanted to see the whales.
Lots of trees in Juneau.
Lots of glaciers.
The high tide was in as we drove out to find the whales.
I knew we would have a successful trip when I saw that St. Peter was the name of our boat.
We went up the fjords to look for the whales.
The sea was choppy and the sky was blue.  This is a rain forest, but we had the sunniest of days.
i got a lot of photos of water, just missing the blows of the whales.
See? A millisecond ago there was blow.
And blow in the far distance.
And finally the back of a humpback whale.
Which way did he go?
There is blow out there somewhere.
And blow to the left. Or was it the right.
There was a lot of operator error involving my camera.  I pushed wrong buttons and basically messed up a bunch of pictures of whales.
Beautiful glacier photo.
And more glacier pictures.
Whale straight ahead.  But I missed the photo of it.
There were several boats chasing the same whales that afternoon.  It must be annoying to have boats gather around whenever they surface.
It was there, I missed it.
Way off to the left is a whale.  Trust me.  I think this one was Flame.
See?  A whale in the distant left.
And another picture of the back of the whale.  I guess that is the hump of the humpback.
She basked at the surface for a while.
And more. Basking in the afternoon sunshine.
Whale back.
The blow of the thar she blows.
She was basking for a while in the sunshine.
And more.  I kept taking pictures because I had missed the fluke about 2 other times and I was trying to get a photo of it.
But still resting at the surface.
A whale.

A whale.
And a whale.
There is the humpback whale back.  A wild whale.
Basking at the surface.  The most whale I saw.
The back of the whale.
I missed the fluke because I got the back.  I was so mad.
Another whale.
And is there a whale out there?
Why yes there is.
This the the fluke of Grilled Cheese, a young male humpback whale.  The only fluke shot I got.  It was the reason I went to Alaska.  For this shot.  I saw three other flukes but this was the only picture I got.  But, yay.  A whale.


Juneau, the rest of the story

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I came to Alaska to see a wild whale and I was not disappointed.  I did not expect to see whales breach or get close to them.  I just wanted to see evidence of a wild whale and this photo of Grilled Cheese, a young male humpback, according to our guides was my best photo.
But, I saw a lot of basking whale which is evidence of whale.  The guides told us that the whales surface after about 5 minutes of a deep dive to get mouthfuls of small fish
Like the bears, they are getting fat for the winter.  Unlike the bears, they are going to Hawaii or other southern waters to have calves and play in the sunshine where there is the not plentiful food of the northern waters.
Just missed a great photo of a whale fluke.
Basking in the late afternoon sunshine.
The hump of the humpback.
And more.
And more.
These are fjords, so the deep water generally goes close to the shore
These whales are the size of a bus. See?
Without using the zoom of the lens.
Oh, whale where are you?
Missed the photo of the blow.
But there is the whale.
And there.
And this was the other fluke I saw.  I think this one might have been Flame, the female we chased that day.  But sideways the fluke is not as dramatic.
I took these photos through the glass.  The glaciers in the background were beautiful.
The line is the reflection on the glass. 
Because the afternoon was getting late and we had paid for dinner, we headed for the Orca Point Lodge.
Not whale watching anymore.

This island is said to have the highest per square mile grizzly bears of anywhere in the world.
This was at the Orca Point Lodge.  After a wonderful fresh salmon dinner, we walked the rocky beach.
There were people who live there all year round.  Imagine the isolation and the beauty.
The money shot of the beauty of the island.
Looking down at the rocks, I saw feathers.  I didn't want to touch them, but I carried them home in pictures.
Rocky beach and feather.
This little spit of land joined the grizzly bear island with the Orca Point Lodge island.
The gulls like it in the low tide.
The inland passage has tides, but not the waves of the open ocean.
Rocks.
And sea birds sitting on something.
I couldn't tell what it was.

Late in the season flower.

The porch of the Lodge.
There was supposed to be a bald eagle nest up this tree.  Lots of people said they saw the bald eagle.  I saw it fly over, but I didn't see it in the tree and I still can't see it.
Can you?

 Where's the bald eagle?  I thought I would see it in the photo, but I can't.

I can't see it.  I think they were kidding me.
So, after dinner, we got back on St Peter to head back to Juneau and our ship.
The trip back was sea and mountain.  This is how I will always remember Alaska.
Mountains with snow, glaciers.
After the boat, St Peter, we boarded a bus to take us back to the dock.
Imagine if this were your daily commute.
This old sip is abandoned in the water.  We were told that the feds and the state and maybe the city are arguing about who has the responsibility to get rid of it.
And back at the dock, there were big birds.
Raven?
I forgotten the story of the dog statue but there was a story about a dog who met the ships.
And back in my cabin, an animal of towels awaited.
Looking back at Juneau as we sailed away into the black night.

In conclusion, I was satisfied with my whale tour.  I loved Juneau.  If I could I would go back there someday.  There was plenty more to explore in Juneau, Alaska.

Skagway, Alaska

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For reasons I don't fully understand and certainly can't explain, Skagway, Alaska is one of my favorite places.  Somehow, I just took to it.  I had no shore excursions planned for my day in Skagway.  The big one to do was the train to Canada that the gold rush miners took.  I didn't take that. I heard that it was great and people saw bears and other wild life and some saw sled dog puppies.  I guess I will have to go to the zoo to see bears. So, I had a free day on shore.
Looking from the ship toward the view from Skagway.  How could one ever get tired of the view?
We weren't the only cruise ship pulling into Skagway that Wednesday morning. That one was bigger than ours.  I think it was the Bliss.  We kept playing tag with it at various ports.
This was my home, the Pearl.
I walked off the ship and into Skagway.  Because this was a long shore excursion town, we were in Skagway until the evening.
Old rail cars were out on the tracks for examination.
It was a little hike into town, but interesting.
The town beckoned, not a stop light in town/
Skagway is a town of about 600 year round residents.  But the cruise ship people inflate that number in the summer, because people come to work in the stores.
This was a town were the Alaska gold rush miners would get supplies before heading to the gold fields.  Lots of hotels and bawdy houses in the olden days.
Along the side of the mountain, businesses advertised their services back in the day.
The railroad track to Canada.
An old engine was displayed.  Unfortunately, the Alaskan gold rush didn't last long and the railroad was constructed and abandoned within a few years.
Lots of eateries and bars up and down the street today. Not too many hotels because most of us were on ships and weren't staying over night.
The storefronts looked like the wild west.
Flowers in September that were not bitten by the frost.
This is looking out the front of my favorite shop, the Rushin' Tailor, a quilt shop.  I bought some fabric and ordered some when I got home.  I ordered a quilt kit.  It looks a bit complicated, but I am probably up to it.
Another view of the town with mountains and glaciers overhead.
And totem poles.  I learned more about those later.
Wide streets and no traffic to speak of,
It was all just so interesting.  Lots of shops.  Sales because we were at almost the end of the Alaska cruise season.
And where but Alaska are there statues of ladies of the evening?
A park for Mollie.
And little tiny lobelias blooming.
I am not sure what these are.  But the yellow with the blue made a pretty picture.
A Town below the mountains.  I wonder how much snow they have now?
But those old timers built very interesting looking buildings that now sell tee shirts, jewelry, and other Alaska trinkets.
Looking back toward the cruise ship from the town.
A better picture of the totems.
I sat in this park for a while enjoying the Alaskan sunshine.
It would have been so easy to have built simple buildings without decoration, but they didn't.  And it is preserved today.
They say bears come into town in the winter..  The forest began when the town ended, so I could see that.
The little side streets didn't go much of anywhere.
And the shore excursion people may have seen sled dog puppies, but I saw Alaskan dogs.
This place used to be a hotel.  It sold tee shirts and other clothing these days.
Shops lined the streets, too many to see them all in a day.
I heard there were great crab legs in one of these places, Maybe this one?  I didn't think of getting any.
For a little town, there were a lot of statues.
A better view of the train as I headed back to the ship.
Caboose.
The tracks.  There were things to explore there that I didn't. Maybe next time I am in Skagway.

More curious than the train is the RV.  How did it get here?
A train car.
And yet another statue.
Out of the town, but still a hike to the ship.
I wondered what these trees blooming red were, but I haven't discovered yet.
And down to the harbor.
And looking back at town.
There was a stream that was apparently part of encouraging Coho salmon.
I didn't see the fish from the bridge.
Besides cruises, the harbor was busy with all the stuff for the town.  Everything came by ship.
Lots of containers of stuff.
I heard a strange noise on the other side of the creek.  Some kind of animal call that I wasn't familiar with.  See that little critter? 
Baby otters.
And finally I reached the ship.
And had a late lunch at the eatery on the stern.  That view.
This was a fjord, connected with the ocean.  But smooth as glass.
See? Smooth.
The working port was next to us.
And so was a bigger ship.  
And another ship beside us that was smaller.  Thousands of people in port that day.
Something was swimming in the fjord.  I imagined that it might be a sea lion or two.
But I couldn't see it clearly.
Just bumps in the water.
Without the lens bringing it closer. This is what my eyes saw.
And the side of the mountain at Skagway.
Looking at the harbor toward the town.  If ever I can, I will go back there someday.

And waiting for me in my cabin was an elephant.
This is my cabin.  Messy as I unpacked from the day.  The mirrors make it look confusing.

Work in Progress

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I am working on the next Alaska post.  It has a million, billion photos (hyperbole) so it is taking a while to get it done.

Lately, I have been busy.  I watch my grandson most days.  He is less than 6 months old, so he is both as easy and as hard as he will ever be.  He is joy to me.  Joy.  We sing songs (4 years teaching preschool comes in handy for knowing a lot of those), we dance, we nap, we read stories, and otherwise go through the day.  It is joy.  And so much fun.

I had eye surgery.  It went well. I helped move Mom to the town where my sister lives.  It was a good move.  Well timed. I decorated for Christmas.  Early. (I used to wait until late in Advent.) I am still waiting for a decision on the annulment.  It is an old slow church.  Oh, and I lost some weight, still working on that. And I turned 65.

So, life goes on.  I am coming to accept and understand that I am living the life I am supposed to live.  It is a good life.  A very good life.  Thankful, grateful, joyful.  God calls me to these holy moments when I can see how good my life is.

And soon, more Alaska pictures.

Alaska, Glacier Bay National Park

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I took a lot of pictures of Glacier Bay National Park.  A lot.  And I will share them because they are lovely.  It was such a wild, beautiful peaceful place.
This was an on the water day.  The Glacier Bay National Park is seen by water.
The day started out foggy.  It was September, but it was cold.
Cloudy and cold did not seem promising.
Animals like bears and mountain goats and elk and moose roam this wilderness.
Sea lions have their babies in these waters.
The bubbles that comes off the ice from the icebergs protects the baby sea lions from orcas.  They are hard to locate.
Thus, cruise ships are not allowed down some of these waters until the pups are older.  In September, the pups are old enough, so we went way back into the bay.
Mountains right up the the water.
And glaciers that calve into the water.
The air was cold.  Very cold.
We went to the Johns Hopkins Glacier.
When the glacier calved it sounded like a cannon.
The spots in the water are probably ice floating, but some might be sea lions.
Glaciers up the side of the mountain.
The Johns Hopkins Glacier.  To the left is the place where the sea lions are.
The tidal glacier.
We stayed around the glacier for more than an hour.
Lots of time to see the calving or falling of the ice into the water.
The black marks on the glacier are places where the glacier rubbed onto the side of the mountain as it came down the mountain.
The glacier gets smaller every year.
Our cruise ship was the only ship back in this bay.
The glacier ice looks blue.  Something about the pressure as it is formed.
I heard the chunks of ice calve.
It looks like rocks or a cliff, but it is all ice formed from snow.
The ice is really large, blue, and cold.
And looking around away from the glacier.
I was standing on the top deck and photographing through the little slits in the windows.
After a while I felt like I was frozen.
And a river was forming down the mountain.
And the ship made a circle around again.
Gradually the sky cleared and the sun came out.
The ship was moving and some of my pictures lean.
I think of these scenes as Alaska. Alaska.
I think there were sea lions on these ice flows.
By this time, I had gone below to one of the lounges.  The glass was pretty clear.  They gave us cocoa, and there were places to sit.
Being inside made the glacier seem more distant, but I could feel my hands.
Alaska.
The tidal glacier.
I am only halfway through the pictures.
The glacier.
To the left is where the sea lions are.
And the ship turned around again.
It seemed as though we were leaving, but we were just turning around.
Sea lions?
From inside the lounge.
The view from the front of the ship.
See the glacier calving?  Right in front that looks like mist.
The rock is piled up.
The rocks looked orange.
And this is a different glacier.
It calved while we were viewing it.
But, we didn't stay around this one as long.
Tidal glaciers are rare in the world.  Glacier Bay has several of them.
I suppose in winter, like now, if you went past this scene, it would all be white and you couldn't tell the difference between glacier and snow.
Glacier.
It almost looks like a sand beach.
Leaving Glacier Bay
And tidal glaciers.
There were icebergs.
Floating debris?
People were saying that there was a sea lion on this one.
Looking at the glacier.
Closer.
Leaving the bay.
This glacier looked cleaner.
And whiter.
Sea lions, but the lens didn't pick up very well.
In September the trees were changing.
Maybe orcas?
The vegetation gradually breaks done the mountain.
Early September and almost winter.
Love the aqua of the water.
I see a sleeping cat on the side of the mountain.
Looks like a painting.
I was still in the lounge.
And I wonder what was in the water.  Maybe ice?
The mountains were lower and the mountains blacker as we sailed out of glacier bay.
This photo is peace and serenity to me.
This cafe was at the rear of the ship and in the open air, in the cold of Glacier Bay there were seats.
Heading out of Glacier Bay.
Leaving tracks.
Melon carvings in the dining line.
And a towel critter on my bed.

I think it was a frog.  And that was Thursday of the cruise.  Glacier Bay.

Friday, Ketchikan

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On Friday we docked at Ketchikan, Alaska.  We docked early and had to be back on the ship before 1pm so I woke up early and got off the ship.
Looking back at my mobile hotel it looked enormous.  I had an interior cabin.  I think it would be great to cruise with one of those picture windows like the deck on the bottom.
Lots of ships were docked at Ketchikan that Friday.
We had to walk to our first shore activity.  I passed this statue on the way.  I think it represents the different pioneers who settled Alaska.
Even early in the morning, the port was busy.
Ketchikan was not as quaint was Skagway.  It was an old logging town.
There were lots of shops.
But, my shore activity involved a logging show and a Native American village.  First up logging.
Basically, it was a tourist show featuring strapping young men on two "teams" of loggers competing.  It seemed fairly rigged.  It was mildly entertaining, but I wouldn't have booked it except that it was part of the package to see the Native American village.
So, the loggers climbed on things and chopped things.
I think this was a chain saw sculpture.  It was a rabbit that became a chair for a little kid.
I think Canada won that day.

As we drove on the bus out to Saxman village, I noticed this totem in a yard.  We heard later that anyone can order a totem.  The poles cost at least $1000 a foot.
Our first stop was the Tlingit community center.  Those were symbols of the various family groups.
I think this was a maternal culture.  We learned that the Tlingit were more genetically similar to the Polynesians than the rest of the native groups.
Then we walked through a little wood.
It is a rain forest there, so there were ferns, but it has been a dry year.
Then we went to a dance ceremony  It was really loud with lots of drums.  Liked that mothers danced with their babies and even young children joined the dance.
They wore symbols of their clans on the back of their robes.
We left the lodge and went to see the totems.
This one was Seward, the man who negotiated buying Alaska.  He came up there and didn't return gifts for the ones he was given at the celebrations they gave for him, so this totem pokes fun at him.
They say that they just go to the hardware store and buy paint for the totems.  They can't seal them because moisture from inside would cause them to rot from the inside out.
They reproduce the old ones and make new ones just the same every few years.
They sell them to hotels and individuals for thousands of dollars.
Another view of Seward.
This explains that the Saxman village is named for Samuel Saxman, a school teacher who was lst in Dec. 1886 while scouting for a new location for the people of Tongass and Cape Fox Villages.  This is the world's largest collection of totems.  Many were relocated from other villages and restored under the Federal Works Project directed by the US Forest Service in 1939.
We went into a workshop where a famous totem artist was working on a new totem.
And then it was over.  We got back a few minutes early for the boat.
I shopped very briefly and then got aboard.  They weren't kidding about departure.  They would leave without you and charge you a thousand dollars for missing the boat.
This is looking back at Ketchikan.
And we were underway fairly quickly. Leaving Alaska behind.

The sun went down making a beautiful sunset.
These look almost the same, but notice the islands in the distance.
We were headed back toward Victoria and Seattle.

My steward didn't do an animal for me that evening.  I think the frog the night before was the last one. Even though we had one more stop, the cruise was winding down.

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