When I saw my spiritual director last week she encouraged me to write down this story I told her. It is about the house blessing I recently held, but the story began last August.....
In mid-August I was unpacking boxes. I had moved for the third time in three years, the final time for quite a while I hope. I am no novice to the whole moving game. I was a military wife, I moved about every 3 or 4 years during those years. But, I am clearly out of practice, old, tired and exhausted from all the moving. That August afternoon I was trying to sort a box of miscellaneous stuff. It seemed like most of the boxes were full of random items. Not the organized packing I had once done.
Earlier in the summer I had told a friend that when I got unpacked I would hold a house blessing. I told her that before I began the move to this house I bought. Having been moved in for a few weeks, it seemed the term "unpacked" would never apply to my life. I was discouraged. I was engaging in unproductive self-flagellation. I was beating myself up. I recognized that this was not what I was supposed to be doing. This was not what God would have me do. But, I was overwhelmed by the mess and the job before me.
I prayed. I have rather random thoughts in these moments of prayers. I try to start out with thanksgiving. But, past that I just started to feel that I couldn't do it, get unpacked, get settled, have a party, I was giving God my list of the "too much es" in my life...... Then in front of me in the box I had been unpacking, I spied with my little eye a tube of bubbles that I had received at a wedding earlier in the summer. So I blew some as part of my prayer. I blew bubbles and bubbles and felt more calm and relaxed and hopeful. The bubbles were my praise.
But, still the nagging thought came in that perhaps some people would think I was showing off by having a house blessing, maybe nobody would come, maybe I was just showing off by making it a party. As I searched my motives for discernment, one of those bubbles that I had ceased blowing a little while ago came and hovered in front of my face. I said, "Okay, God, maybe a house blessing is okay with You." But, I started to wonder about taking something like that as a sign. And then another bubble came and hovered in front of my face. I was telling God that I got it when another bubble seemed to come out of nowhere. Not one, not two, but three bubbles long after I had stopped producing them. It seemed to me to be a sign.
So, I found a way to unpack the house. There is still a lot of work left to do in the basement, but the upstairs will do. I had a house blessing and the perfect number of people came and it was lovely. It was beyond lovely, it was blessed. I am blessed to have this life after so much time spent trying to make life go a different way. I don't tell this story to encourage people to look for signs like the bubbles. I don't know why sometimes it seems that God communicates with me this way. I know for sure that I am a slow learner.
My spiritual director pointed out that discernment probably isn't best left to signs, but rather to the fruits the decision produces. If having the house blessing had made me upset and caused problems, then it wasn't from God. But, in this case, the house blessing was great. I dwell here with God. And we finished off the house blessing blowing bubbles.
In mid-August I was unpacking boxes. I had moved for the third time in three years, the final time for quite a while I hope. I am no novice to the whole moving game. I was a military wife, I moved about every 3 or 4 years during those years. But, I am clearly out of practice, old, tired and exhausted from all the moving. That August afternoon I was trying to sort a box of miscellaneous stuff. It seemed like most of the boxes were full of random items. Not the organized packing I had once done.
Earlier in the summer I had told a friend that when I got unpacked I would hold a house blessing. I told her that before I began the move to this house I bought. Having been moved in for a few weeks, it seemed the term "unpacked" would never apply to my life. I was discouraged. I was engaging in unproductive self-flagellation. I was beating myself up. I recognized that this was not what I was supposed to be doing. This was not what God would have me do. But, I was overwhelmed by the mess and the job before me.
I prayed. I have rather random thoughts in these moments of prayers. I try to start out with thanksgiving. But, past that I just started to feel that I couldn't do it, get unpacked, get settled, have a party, I was giving God my list of the "too much es" in my life...... Then in front of me in the box I had been unpacking, I spied with my little eye a tube of bubbles that I had received at a wedding earlier in the summer. So I blew some as part of my prayer. I blew bubbles and bubbles and felt more calm and relaxed and hopeful. The bubbles were my praise.
But, still the nagging thought came in that perhaps some people would think I was showing off by having a house blessing, maybe nobody would come, maybe I was just showing off by making it a party. As I searched my motives for discernment, one of those bubbles that I had ceased blowing a little while ago came and hovered in front of my face. I said, "Okay, God, maybe a house blessing is okay with You." But, I started to wonder about taking something like that as a sign. And then another bubble came and hovered in front of my face. I was telling God that I got it when another bubble seemed to come out of nowhere. Not one, not two, but three bubbles long after I had stopped producing them. It seemed to me to be a sign.
So, I found a way to unpack the house. There is still a lot of work left to do in the basement, but the upstairs will do. I had a house blessing and the perfect number of people came and it was lovely. It was beyond lovely, it was blessed. I am blessed to have this life after so much time spent trying to make life go a different way. I don't tell this story to encourage people to look for signs like the bubbles. I don't know why sometimes it seems that God communicates with me this way. I know for sure that I am a slow learner.
My spiritual director pointed out that discernment probably isn't best left to signs, but rather to the fruits the decision produces. If having the house blessing had made me upset and caused problems, then it wasn't from God. But, in this case, the house blessing was great. I dwell here with God. And we finished off the house blessing blowing bubbles.