Dear Younger Me...

I have recently finished filling out information related to my marriage. It was the hardest thing I ever did.  The very hardest.  But, that is the thing with those hard, hard things, I probably learned more about myself in doing it than in anything else I have ever done in my life.

So, my failed marriage is not all his fault.  I had warning signs that he wasn't the man for me.  He didn't participate much in the wedding planning.  Our pre-Cana counseling was pro-forma and a joke. There were many serious issues that came to light and none of them were addressed. I started having doubts as the wedding drew closer, but A WEDDING!  I couldn't call that off.  It seemed like it would be my only chance to become Sadie, Sadie, married lady which seemed like the epitomy of success.

But, those pre-Cana issues never went away.  They got worse and worse.  I was not the type of person who was meant to be married to this type of man.  He wasn't my type and he didn't grow on me.  And I suffered a lot trying to make it all work.  I had a belief that if I worked hard enough at something I could fix it. So, I worked hard.  I worked so hard, I lost myself completely.

And dear younger me, I would tell you not to marry this man, that it would all be a big mistake but, he gave you the best gift ever, your son.  Your son is the light of your life. For your son, it was worth it.  Dear younger me, this is proof that God brings good out of the bad.

Now, dear older me, you have a second chance to have a happy life, DON'T BLOW IT!